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  1. #1
    Verbal Bakemono
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    Default All my lifes of regret.

    Hi all. u might think i am nonsensical but what ever. i dont have much time. i just want to rant out the feelings from the bottom of my heart.

    Like what Lockie said. All of you might judge me frm the way i post in forum. but i aint like what u all think.

    I might be crapping the whole time. but the truth is i am just a friendly person. i might have tried to make friends thru the wrong way or what. but i am just a very very lonely person in the bottom of my heart.

    All i am seeking right now is just forgiveness and care while i still have the time.

    I might not be here for long or might even longer i wont even know how much time i have left for my own freedom.

    Regrets.

    #1> not suceeding in my studies. been skipping school since primary 6 because i thought it was fun ( but it was slightly) and i met HIM (someone) and he thought me how to skip sch. how to actually smoke. and alot of things and there was when i start to gone astray totally. to the point where i came to the age of 16 i realise everything was WRONG TO BEGUN. but it was too late already. i have lots of crappy habits. i like to craps. i like to swear for fun. but i was really not harm to begin with.

    #2> Not able to really take care of myself and my parents. (especially my dad as he really care for me and i know that but i chose to ignore the bliss due to my stupidity).

    #3> i Do have true friends and love before. but i ignore the bliss once again. i hurted them. i dissapoint them. like Chrno jing and her friends. they advice me. they care. but once again i let them down again and again from incident by incident. But i did truely wanted to listen to them. but i just dont know where to begin.

    #4> i been actually wanted to change for the good. but i just doesnt know how to start and where to start. this might sound stupid but i am just a person who need someoen who is really able to guide me step my step. i know its kind of lame and way too depending on people. but i really really dont know what to do anymore please understand the state of my mind is somewhat equal to emptyness and stupidity and raging waves of illusion.

    #5> To everyone whom i have disturbed or offended. i didnt really want to offend or disturb u guys. i am just kind of....playful minded child. who doesnt know what is right what is wrong. and i know its a mistake i did. but at times. i still kind of forgotten the consequences or i have really really portrayed my own image in the really wrong way.

    Now. i am at the ends of my wits. my time. my path. i have no way to go already. right in front of my life is just a jail cell. and there is no turning back already. i have lost my sense of life. freedom. happiness. security. mind. bits by bits to the point its totally gone.

    I regretted everything i have done. but whats the point now. there is no more chances left. there is no Reset/Restart button in life. life aint a game that where u die or u failed the mission and u just start over and playing the game again or there is a save point where u can load.

    Reality might be cruel but its the facts. i am facing the music that i my ownself created it directly or indirectly.
    Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.
    What happened in the past is already past,just let it pass and all things will be alright

  2. #2
    Katana Tongue いさきIshihara's Avatar
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    Default

    May you be a better person.
    http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc109/ishihara-kun/Jrockers/Miyavi/weristdasnebenmyavi3ca.jpg
    伊崎のBlog

  3. #3
    Katana Tongue reize's Avatar
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    Default

    Hey guess what. Me too! You cant judge a book by the cover :3

    Its like hell yea, we all know im so like...a total asshole on the forum.

    But yea, its not enough, in reality, im a bigger asshole in real life. One glance and it reeks of assholeness. :3


  4. #4
    Verbal Bakemono
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    Default

    On the blackest wings in hell's terrain
    We watch the lands become
    In fire and flame, now once again we know

    So now we're flying, we're free
    We're free before the thunderstorm
    Hunt towards the wilderness
    Our quest carries on
    Far beyond the sun down, far beyond the moonlight
    Deep inside our hearts and all our souls

    So far away we wait for the day
    For the lives all so wasted and gone
    We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
    Through the fire and the flames we carry on


    And on the wings of a dream so far beyond reality
    All alone in desperation, now the time has gone
    Lust inside you'll never find, lust within my own mind
    Day after day this misery must go on
    Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.
    What happened in the past is already past,just let it pass and all things will be alright

  5. #5
    Word Master -Emii-'s Avatar
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    Default

    never too late to start again~ 8D


  6. #6
    Verbal Bakemono
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    Default

    Emii. for most of the matters. its never too late to start over again. but for mine. its all too late. as there wont be a chance anymore u get it?
    Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.
    What happened in the past is already past,just let it pass and all things will be alright

  7. #7
    Katana Tongue Qubicfactor's Avatar
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    too late is only when you're dead

  8. #8
    Verbal Bakemono
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    Default

    QUbic. yes its only too late when your dead. but what happen if your somewhat near Dead. or somewhat u are near something that u will never have freedom for a very very long time or get to see anyone or celebrate anything.
    Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.
    What happened in the past is already past,just let it pass and all things will be alright

  9. #9
    Posting Sempai kzF`'s Avatar
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    Default

    same as you
    my life was some what similar
    there aint time for u to regret this or that
    just move on
    rather than living in denial

    =- A Perfectionist Living In A Complicated World Leading A Simple Life In An Imperfect Society -=

  10. #10
    Katana Tongue Qubicfactor's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fye-San View Post
    QUbic. yes its only too late when your dead. but what happen if your somewhat near Dead. or somewhat u are near something that u will never have freedom for a very very long time or get to see anyone or celebrate anything.
    then do whatever you need to before you die

    go with no regrets

  11. #11
    Word Master -Emii-'s Avatar
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    .__. you make it sound like you're going to jail for life. Well as long as you're not dead, life doesn't end yet so there's still a bit of hope left. (well that's my point of view lah)
    Life goes on whether you like it or not. well whatever the reason is, its sounds very complicated so only you know what you can do for yourself. ~.~


  12. #12
    Astro Boy Vectors's Avatar
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    why so emo???

  13. #13
    Verbal Bakemono bloodcolumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vectors View Post
    why so emo???
    why cant he emo?

    There is wrong and right in everyone, so dun wry about it
    Final Fantasy Versus|DMC 5|Yugioh Zexal|Razing Storm|Battle Girls Time Paradox|Gintama|Beelzebub

  14. #14
    Word Master Pablo's Avatar
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    Live like no tomorrow then.


  15. #15
    Verbal Bakemono
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    Default

    Qubic: trying to do that. but sadly no money = \ neither i can go japan >.>

    Emii: oh well thanks. but still. its somewhat like eternal to you. u see. in that kind of place. 1 month is some felts like a year.

    Vector: try to imagine u yourself stuck in such situation.

    BloodColumn: Yes there is right and wrong in everybody.
    Ashes to ashes,dust to dust.
    What happened in the past is already past,just let it pass and all things will be alright

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